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24 Episode 6.22 - "3:00 AM - 4:00 AM"
Airdate: Monday, May 14th, 2007

Let’s talk about hair.

Specifically, the hair of one Mr. James Cromwell, the heavyweight Special Guest Star whose off-handed gravitas has added immeasurably to this sixth season of 24.

As Philip Bauer, Jack’s nutty dad, Cromwell first graced our screens early in the season, and has now returned for a Final Showdown with his son--or at least, this is what I presume. Otherwise, they are wasting the time of one Mr. James Cromwell, and I reckon one Mr. James Cromwell doesn’t cotton to having his time wasted. No, not by a long shot.

Anyway, one Mr. James Cromwell truly seems to be phoning this gig in, especially after I caught his performance in The Queen over the weekend, where he slaps on a British accent and a kilt to portray Prince Philip. I just don’t get the vibe that one Mr. James Cromwell is investing as much into playing a crazy anti-American capitalist as he did into portraying a real-life royal.

How can I tell this most of all, you wonder? Check out one Mr. James Cromwell’s hair. It’s this strange old man mullet. He couldn’t even be bothered to swing by the makeup trailer and get himself a trim.

Of course, even when he’s phoning it in (literally, in most of the scenes in this episode), one Mr. James Cromwell does bring da aforementioned gravitas and/or funk. Which means I am ready for him to bust loose again with some of his mad phoned-in skillz, like he showed us when he suffocated his own son back many hours ago.

Unfortunately, the writers aren’t ready for Jimmy Cromwell (okay, I got sick of the "one Mr." bit -- sue me) to bust loose yet, so we get one more week of vamping before the season finale. I was actually quite surprised, because the stakes didn’t shoot up nearly as high as I hoped they would; the kidapping Josh Bauer plot from last week was resolved relatively quickly, only to be replaced by a "Screw you, Jack, the U.S. government is trading Josh Bauer to your crazy dad for the circuit board" plot for the finale. It’s sorta like six in one, half-dozen in the other, and even worse, it’s a retread of ground we’ve covered just a few weeks ago, with the whole Jack Bauer "Mr. President, you owe me" bit where Jack went rogue with the circuit board after his own government betrayed him.

How many times can the U.S. government betray Jack Bauer in a single 24-hour period, anyway? At least two times, apparently. Maybe three times, if you count the event that initially brought Jack Bauer into this season’s action, where they were gonna trade Jack to the terrorists without blinking an eye after moving heaven and earth to free him from a Chinese prison.

So when the big picture loses its allure, it’s the little bits I notice, like J.C.’s grandpa mullet. Or the priceless way in which Peter MacNicol handles a scene in which his character has to listen to a woman having sex through a surveillance camera--that’s why you pay guys like him the big bucks, for taking a couple lines and weaving something amusing out of them. Even Carlo Rota’s Morris gets a fun moment or two this week, and actually redeems himself from helping the terrorists arm bombs by girl-fighting one of Cheng’s thugs.

It occurs to me that a great TV show is like a great baseball team--even when they’re having a rough game, they can’t help but play well sometimes. Even when 24 doesn’t knuckle down and deliver in any given hour, it’s still got enough great plays that you understand what’s so fun about it.

And next week...season six wraps up, and hopefully, one Mr. James Cromwell finally caves and gets his damn hair cut.

iTunes Links

24 - Series
24 - Season 6
This episode - "3:00 AM - 4:00 AM"

Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.