Got an iPod? Maybe the better question would be; why don't you have an iPod?

iPods are more than this decade's WalkMan (a fact that keeps Sony execs sucking down Mylanta faster than you can say "Wasabi!!"), and certainly not a fad, as some other computer maker -- who shall remain nameless (but his name rhymes with 'Hell') -- would have you believe.

Still some of you may not realize the full potential of that little jewel you hold in your hands (no, the other jewel). So, here's my list of fifty iPod uses; I picked fifty because it's a nice round number and I was getting tired of writing.

50 iPod Uses:

1. Paperweight/Paperclip

Yes, your two hundred + dollar iPod can serve as an excellent paperweight. It is just heavy enough to keep those all-important pages from flitting away in a breeze.

The new iPod shuffle, with its metal clip can also serve as an emergency paperclip.

Hey, when you really need a weight or a clip you use what is available; it just so happens that the iPod is better at being a paperweight/paperclip than its competition. Go Apple!

2. Personal Video Player
3. Hand Held Game Machine
   

And the games are getting better, too. Woohoo!

4. Personal Fitness Coach

What? You haven't hear about this one?

There seems to be a whole cottage industry growing around fitness training and the iPod. Of course there's the Nike+iPod Sports Kit, which I use and is a lot of fun to use, but there are also applications and programs that you can buy to help you train for marathons and stuff. Check out PodFitness, iTrainer, and PodPT as well as programs offered by Nike.

5. Stop Watch
6. Alarm Clock
7. FM Radio Receiver

But why would you want to receive FM Radio?

8. Wine Guide
9. Portable Digital Storage Device
10. Album Art Viewer
11. Voice Memo Recorder
12. Portable DJ System
13. Karoke Machine

This is cool; now not only can you sing along with the tunes on your iPod, but you can sing the right words. Griffin technology is offering to turn your iPod into a karaoke machine, complete with microphone. Unfortunately not even your iPod can help you carry a tune.

14. Stethoscope Trainer
15. E-Book Reader

Wait...Stethoscope Trainer?

It seems the lab coats at Temple University have discovered that med students learning to use a stethoscope recognize the sounds of different heart conditions better if they train their ears with recordings of the conditions on iPods.

According to an article in MacNewsWorld, students trained by listening to the sounds of ailing hearts over and over again, up to 400 heartbeats per ailment. After normal stethoscope training student usually recognize the the different sound about 40% of the time, but after a session with the iPod student successfully IDed the sounds up to 90% of the time!

This is great news, but hardly new news; there's a wonderful app call Genius which lets you create study material which it then uses to quiz you. What's even better is that there's a growing list of Genius libraries that will help you study everything from foreign language to state capitals.

Genius is a great little app, and it's free, as are all of the libraries. How cool is that?

Oh; Genius doesn't work on the iPod so I have no idea why I mentioned it. It's still pretty cool though so check it out anyway.

16. Meditation/Self Hypnosis Trainer

I mentioned this one in another article and it actually seems to work. Using Pzizz I can now drop off to sleep faster than I ever could before, and when I wake I do feel more refreshed. Those Pzizz folks definitely have something.

17. Pedometer
18. Linux System

I know, I asked myself the same question: Why would anyone want to run Linux on an iPod?

The official response is that Linux provides a broader scope of applications that may run on your humble iPod, but the real answer is that the people who are doing this are deeps geeks and do it just because they can.

Still, seeing the Linux penguin appear on your iPod instead of the Apple logo is enough to awaken the inner geek in all of us. (Or am I just speaking for myself?)

19. Foreign Language Teacher
20. Flashlight

When you need a flashlight, you need a flashlight.

21. High Fidelity Stereo Recorder
22. Boot Disk
23. Baby Sitter

Hand a 5 year old an iPod (with the volume limited) and they will sit totally mesmerized, or they will methodically take the iPod apart. Either way the kid is occupied for a full 10 minutes.

24. Home Stereo System
25. Navigation Aid

Now, this is cool: You can download maps of subway systems and rapid transit routes from nearly every major city in the world to your iPod. What's more, there are instructions to put just about any map from Google or Yahoo into your iPod. Handy for travelers.

26. Audiobook player
27. Hi-Def Video Source
28. Tele-Prompter
29. Calendar
30. Backup Device

You know, I can't stress how important it is to backup your data every once in a while. Actually, you should do it regularly. Important files can easily be backed up to your iPod so you can have them when you need them. What cool is that there's encryption software available so that you can put confidential data on your iPod without fear of that data being gleaned if you lose your iPod.

31. PDA
32. Sex Toy

Err... we won't get into this, but you knew it had to happen. (It's OK to love your iPod, but is it OK to LOVE your iPod?)

33. World Clock
34. Tour Guide
35. Music Teacher
36. Radio Station

I still can't get over the novelty of tuning in music from my iPod on my home music system via the FM radio. I know there are more sophisticated ways to accomplish the same task, but there's something...geeky about broadcasting it.

37. Address Book
38. Safety Flasher
39. Bible

There when you feel the need to thump.

37. Language Translator
38. News Reader

42. Bar Keeper

Always know how to make a Singapore Sling and a Long Island Ice Tea.

42. Photo Album
43. Nutrition Guide
44. Belt Buckle

An iPod belt buckle? In the name of great beer nuts, why?

46. Laser Pointer
47. Toilet Paper Dispenser

Someone was probably sitting in his 'office' when the idea for this came to him. I can't decide if it's a good idea or not, or whether I would want to use an iPod knowing it's been there. (Eew!)

48. Status Symbol

If you've got one you're cool, if you don't you're not. Such is life.

49. Audio Source
50. Portable Music Player

Gee, all that and it plays music too. Who'd have thought it?