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  • Jagged Little Pill (Acoustic)

    • 6 out of 10
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    • Ten years after the original release, comes the traditional celebratory acoustic re-recording. The album has held up remarkably well. While it is not as meaningful to me as it was when I was sixteen,
  • Chicago Transit Authority

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    • Billy Miles
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Degrassi Episode 6.1: "Here Comes Your Man"

We begin season six with Emma and Peter celebrating his 17th birthday at some restaurant. They walk out to valet where a car pulls up, and the valet leaps out to hand keys to Peter’s dad. Guess what? It’s Peter’s bday gift, and... it’s a Saab. I’m sorry, but no self-respecting father who doesn’t want his son to look like a douchebag buys his kid a Saab. You know it’s an acronym for Something An A##%@&$ Buys, right? Now you do. But Peter doesn’t know the difference, nor does he care -- it’s a drop top and he’s with his girl, so naturally it’s time to go cruising. Which they do in a flirty montage of wind whipping through hair and cell phone picture taking. But this being Degrassi, the good times can’t stay drama-free for long. As they stop for a little making out, Emma sees someone she hasn’t seen in quite some time.

"Shawn?" she exclaims. "What are you doing here!"

"I moved back," he says, with Jay in tow.

Apparently, Wasaga Beach isn’t exciting enough (I could’ve told you that) and Shawn’s coming back to school. He’s totally undressing Emma with his eyes. Emma is doing her best to hide those old feelings. And Peter is practically peeing on her leg to mark his territory. Oh, the drama!

But before we really get into the swing of things, I must say that the new 90210-esque opening credits bring a tear to my eye. Not just because it takes us back to a simpler time where sideburns were king the umpteenth time around, but because it means our kids are getting all grown up, and the show isn’t just focusing on the school anymore. The times, they are a changing. Sob!

Anyway. J.T., Liberty and Toby walk up the front steps past Jimmy and Spinner, who notice Ashley (Jimmy does, anyway) and Darcy, who tells Spinner she’s over what happened last year and it’s time to move on. In other words, this is the scriptwriter’s way of saying, "All of these characters are back this season but this episode doesn’t focus on them in any way, shape or form. However, wait until you see what we have in store for them!" So then let’s get back to the meat of this episode: Emma and Shawn. When Shawn pulls into the parking lot, Manny gets all excitable about his biceps -- wait, isn’t she seeing Craig again? -- and Peter gets all whiny about him having been in Emma’s past. As she reassures him, Shawn watches intently from behind a pair of sunglasses he found in an unearthed time capsule that was buried in 1986. Of course, once they hit class Emma can’t keep her eyes off him to the point where Manny comments. And if Manny notices you’re hot for a guy, it’s all downhill from there.

And now, this episode’s secondary plot line: Marco is moving in with Dylan, Paige wants him to throw a going away party before she leaves for Banting, and Ellie is trying for student housing. That’s pretty much all you need to know, especially when...

...Manny is busy meddling, telling Shawn that he needs to stay away from Emma so her life is drama-free. So what does Shawn do? Befriend Peter. Yeah, that’s not going to make anything awkward. Shawn invites Peter to do some illegal street racing, Emma protests, everyone accuses her of not being any fun, prompting her to say, "If fun were people, I’d be China." Um, yeah. Anyway, when they get to the race spot, Alex pins Shawn in one line: "What’s that saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" Shawn protests. Weakly.

Sub-plot two: Paige is still pushing for a party. Because it’s Always All About Her.

At school the next day, the mild flirtation between Shawn and Emma continues. Manny gives Emma hell for "stepping into the Shawn Cameron man trap," which Emma says "nu-uh" to, yet she jumps 20-feet into the air when Peter appears. Off they go for a romantic dinner alone, until Peter’s car talk drives Emma insane and she finally allows him to go racing again... which, of course, means she gets to see Shawn.

Back to sub-plot two: Paige’s party looks slightly anemic, Darcy tries to give Paige what for on the whole deal with Spinner, and Marco’s dad puts out his back when trying to move his stuff in. You have permission to take your no-doz now.

On to illegal street racing central. Things heat up when Peter challenges Jay. They race until the cops show, causing everyone to scatter like cockroaches in bright light. Naturally Shawn pulls Emma to his car so they can get away unscathed -- obviously the last thing he needs is another mark on his permanent record. And I’m totally going to skip discussing sub-plot two for a moment to get into the nitty gritty of the next Emma/Shawn scene, ’cause it’s good. I could tell you what they really said, but it’s more fun to look at the subtext of what they talked about, which was more like this:

Shawn: I’m a bad boy.

Emma: I’m hot for it.

And they make out... until Peter calls Emma’s cell phone, so she turns it off so they can make out some more! Hooray for good decision making! (Though admittedly, I don’t know that I could resist Shawn’s biceps either. And before you go thinking I’m a dirty old woman, I checked on IMDB and he’s 21, which means it’s not as gross as it would be if he were really 17.) Of course, Emma starts having second thoughts by the time Shawn drives her home and she sees Peter’s car parked out front.

You can see where this is going, right? Emma decides she needs space and tells Peter, who flips out and calls her a slut. Next thing you know, Shawn is being pulled out of class by Miss Hatzolakos for an impromptu locker search that turns up pot. Gee, I wonder how that got there? As Shawn’s splitting from school, he and Emma get into an argument over whether or not he’s really to blame, and she calls him paranoid for thinking Peter planted it. Let’s do the math, people: Peter’s mother is the principal, he likely has access to all kinds of records, and he’s been known to pull some underhanded BS to get what he wants (let us not forget the entire school seeing footage of Manny’s boobs because she wouldn’t go out with him.) And though Peter tells Emma it’s not the case, he tells Shawn that night at the races that he had access to everyone’s locker combination. Boy, Emma sure can pick them.

Of course, the guys decide to finish things like men... by street racing. And of course, it gets Shawn into trouble when a car pulls out in front of them, causing Peter to swerve and Shawn to jump the sidewalk to avoid being hit, except he nails a runner. Who runs at night in the rain in Toronto?! Shawn calls an ambulance, but Jay shows up to tell him to get the hell out of dodge to avoid the police. Conventional wisdom would suggest not listening to Jay, seeing as his decision making skills are rarely based on logic. And yet, Shawn listens and flees the scene of the crime.

Somehow, news of this travels fast and Emma finds out from Snake that Peter was released on bail and Shawn is still at large, except he isn’t -- she discovers him in her basement, shaking and freaking about having massively screwed up. Understatement much? Emma tells him he has to call the cops, which he does... treating us to the last scene of the season opener, wherein Shawn is led down the front steps in cuffs.

But what of sub-plot two? Ellie gets into residency, which doesn’t last long when she submits a piece to the University newspaper about life as a freshman, including a scathing commentary about her Stepford Wife-esque roommate. Where does she go? Marco and Dylan’s -- like there was any doubt of that happening. Though it looks like things are about to heat up for her, if the previews on her illicit affair with her editor are any indication...


Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.

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