WATCHMEN: Justice is Coming is the worst 99¢ game I've ever purchased, and I purchase a hell of a lot of 99¢ games. Even if it were free it wouldn't be worth the time it took to download it. It's a POS so truly heinous that I would call the developers pond scum for foisting it on poor WATCHMEN fans, but that would be an insult to pond scum.

If I were Alan Moore or Dave Gibbons (author and illustrator/letterer of WATCHMEN respectively), I'd be ready to kick somebody in the teeth for allowing this travesty to sully the WATCHMEN brand.

What's wrong with it? A better question might be is there anything RIGHT with it? And the answer to that is, well, there is some fairly attractive artwork such as this:

You might even get to see some if you manage to create a character, log in, and get past the Connecting to Server/Initializing screen.

Alas, one of the biggest problems was that this was often as far as I got before the game either froze or kicked me back to the iPhone Home screen.

The times I managed to get past the Log In and Connecting screens, I encountered all sorts of bad behavior. The Application Description in the iTunes Store says,

Discover hidden artifacts and level up your character by completing story objectives, defeating criminals, and challenging other players to battle in a dynamic strategy fighting game.

I did discover a couple of Costume Parts last week but since then all I've discovered are dozens of empty dumpsters.

And the costume parts I've found have this annoying habit of being there one minute (top) and gone the next (bottom)

Sometimes I'll find a glowing exclamation point like this one:

But nothing happens when I tap it, touch it, walk into it, walk through it, stand behind it, tap it again, or talk to it. Nothing.

I'm telling you folks, this has to be the buggiest iPhone game I've ever played. Even the worst free game I've downloaded hasn't been this crappy.

Here's another example... When I look at the map, sometimes I'm on it (purple dot in the top picture below) and a minute later I'm not anywhere to be found (bottom picture below).

I've tried to pick a fight with other players but either they're all pussies or they can't hear me. None of them has even acknowledged my presence much less accepted my challenge. I have had several fights, but all with the same non-player character named A Knot-Top.

I have no idea what I'm doing in the fights but I've kicked his butt with three or four punches each and every time.

Here are a couple more examples of how stupid this game is... A few times I've somehow fallen off the map like this:

And when that happens my character becomes trapped on the dark side of a wall, unable to get back into the virtual world or back onto the map. This is what that looks like:

Finally, at least a dozen times the game has started up and left me in the middle of a black screen.

If I look on the map I don't exist and I can walk forever in any direction but never come out of the blackness. When this happens I have to quit and relaunch the game, hoping that this time I'll be spawned somewhere that's not totally black.

I bought this game more than two weeks ago. I waited this long before writing this review because the App Store description promised "More Updates to Come" and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. But after almost three weeks without an update, and with the bugs and issues getting worse, not better, I felt obliged to warn you not to waste your money on this awful piece of dung.

The Bottom Line

If you're a fan of WATCHMEN, you'll hate it for desecrating the honor of a fine graphic novel. If you like iPhone games you'll hate it for having the nerve to call itself a game. You'd have more fun if you took your buck and lit a cigar with it or flushed it down a toilet.