Episode 6.1, "6:00 A.M. - 7:00 A.M."
Episode 6.2, "7:00 A.M. - 8:00 A.M."
Airdate: Sunday, January 14th, 2007

Ah, Jack Bauer.

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.

Welcome back.

It's so good to see you, even if you're wearing a silly beard and probably smell like a urinal because those nasty Chinese haven't let you shower in 20 months. We need you now more than ever, because the entire country has gone apeshit as usual, and who else can we call? Bill Buchanan? Milo? Chloe?

Okay, maybe Chloe, but other than her, no one else GETS you. Not the who, what, where, when of you, but the WHY of you.

Jack, you are nothing less than a nation's desperate silent fantasy brought to life--a man always ideally equipped to handle whatever threat is banging on America's doorstep, who takes no prisoners and suffers with dignity for his country. You are the dark desires of every American, born deep down in the early morning moments of 9/11, as we all watched terrorism render us totally powerless against naked hate. You were born when we all stared at the World Trade Center billowing with smoke and wanted suddenly to hit someone, very hard, anyone who was remotely responsible.

You also kick a huge amount of ass, and that helps. As season six of 24 begins, there is plenty of ass to be kicked. The war on terror has come home, and major American cities have become battlegrounds, where random acts of violence are a daily part of life. Into this fray, Jack returns (and for those keeping score at home, this is where I dump the awkward second-person in favor of a good old-fashioned third person, abandoning the "letter to Jack Bauer" motif I'd employed to get this review started. Peace and hair grease.) from his exile in China to act as essentially a human sacrifice--President Palmer (brother Wayne, not deceased David) has decided to procure Jack from China and trade him to a whack-job terrorist, Fayed, who claims to have information on where CTU can find the alleged ringleader of the latest round of attacks, a fellow named Assad.

In other words, it's about ten minutes into hour one that 24 already leaps off the rails of plausibility and floats skyward on the wings of absolutely insane plotting. Immediately, the mind reels--is this REALLY the best strategy that the President of the United States, a boatload of advisors, and a building full of intelligence professionals could devise? I'll concede that our government is probably up to some skanky business that would make my hair stand upward if I ever heard about it, but sending someone to be carved into bits by the bad guys, just on the outward chance that this evil maniac actually has useful information? Come on.

So I shrug and I strap in and I enjoy the ride. That's what 24 is all about, after all. I can wag left and right about the allegory and symbolism and why Jack Bauer is the perfect hero for our American age, but it's all empty the second he chomps into some terrorist's jugular. That's when the fun begins.

This two-hour premiere of 24's sixth season (with "part two" of the premiere, ANOTHER two hours of 24, airing the next night, or about two hours from the moment I type these words) kicks things off into a thrilling new direction without breaking a sweat. Recurring characters are back and connect the action to past seasons, but this year really shatters the mold for 24--this is a show that has from its start focused on extrapolating possible worst-case scenarios out of the current twisted geopolitical landscape, and now it's gone whole hog.

America isn't a place where bad things could happen; it's a place where bad things ARE happening. This is America at wartime. It's a battle only one man is truly fighting--Jack Bauer, who is deep down, just all of us, running around chewing on jugulars. Or something.

Can I go home now? No? Okay. Then I would be remiss if I didn't also mention the tasty buffet of gifted TV character actors who strut their stuff across the screen in this season of 24. Tops among them all is Peter MacNicol, who first caught my attention as a nutso lead lawyer on Ally McBeal. (Actually, he first caught my attention as Vego the Carpathian in Ghostbusters II, but I was like twelve years old, so I don't think it counts.) Then there's Mary Lynn Rajskub as Chloe, perhaps the most prickly supporting character on television today. She's persnickety, and stubborn, and not so great under stress--in other words, the ideal candidate for a job at the equivalent of the CIA. D.B. Woodside was awesome on Buffy, and he's awesome here. There's even an Oscar nominee stirring into the mix, Regina King, who plays Wayne Palmer's sister.

It's a TV lover's dream, to be honest--more story than the average show would need for a single season is spun out in a single episode. Scenery-chewers chomp on the walls and the furniture, furrow their brows, and make the wrong decision over and over.

Through it all strides Jack Bauer, who never has time to explain, but always has something urgent to say. Then he shoots someone.

iTunes Links

24 - Series
24 - Season 6
"6:00 A.M. - 7:00 A.M."
"7:00 A.M. - 8:00 A.M."