Veronica Mars 3.13 - "Mars, Bars"
Airdate: February 20th, 2007

Hot dames ruled the day in this week's noir masterpiece. Veronica sported sexy stripes in her jail cell, while Parker took it off in pursuit of a big red heart balloon, Mrs. Dean channeled Veronica Lake, and Mac finally had some good times.

Is it just me, or did everyone seem awfully chipper this week? Veronica was the happiest jailbird ever. Logan has fully recovered from the funkadelics. And Mac was positively giddy. Even Keith was all a-smiles visiting V in the slammer. Until he put back on the sheriff suit, that is. Then it was all business, folks.

The mystery of the week wound up in familiar Veronica Mars style - with a case of mistaken identity, a few red herrings, problematic parents, a forged driver's license and a trip to Mexico. Maybe Josh will meet up with Duncan for some Life on the Lam fun. If the money from his coin collection runs out he can become Duncan's Manny and start living la vida loca.

Back to Logan. He sure didn't take long to start eyeing other ladies. But, like Meg was good enough for Duncan, so is Parker for Logan. Not that Logan is really good at all. But, okaaay, he's got his good side. What will Parker think of his roommate situation though? Dick was such a dick during the whole rape incident. A man's friends say something about him, Parker. And so do his exes (how do Veronica and Madison balance out? I don't know.).

And since we're talking about sex, let's talk about Mac and veggie man. We're all so happy to see Mac happy, I'm sure, but what was wrong with her man? The writers forgot to give him any lines, I guess, and so he decided he could just stand around looking distracted? It looked like he was feeling nauseous at certain points during the scavenger hunt. And as rah rah as I am for Mac's groove getting back on, I was cringing a bit at the post-bang cuddlefest. (Remember to pray that he's not a serial killer.)

Before we go to the wild and crazy developments in the big mystery, can we just reflect on how many medical conditions the Mars writers mushed into this one episode? We began with a peanut allergy, quickly referenced autism, touched on anxiety disorders, and then for the big finish, brought in an unspellable disease. I typed "critesfiliokov's disease" into my Google bar and it had no idea what I was talking about. I moved on to "croitsvelt Jacob" - still no response.

Finally, after much search engine hocus pocus, I discovered Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease. Thank you, VM writers for stealing 15 minutes of my life away. In case you're wondering, CJD (as those in the know call it) is basically Mad Cow Disease for humans. Nice.

OK, so the end! Whoa. Lamb got beat down this week. First Wallace swipes him with...a gay joke? (I'm going to presume Wallace just wanted to confuse the Little Lamb with his wizardly wordplay and not actually gay-bait him.) And then, holy smokes, Richard Greco hits a homer on his head. And then he's dead. And then Keith is sheriff again. Everyone will miss the clueless cop, a little. At least he made for great teasing.

Next week it looks like Landry's on the hot seat because of the bloody shirt that just happened to be MONOGRAMMED with his initials. Hello, people, you do not kill someone wearing a name tag. That's rule number one in the perfect murder handbook, of which I suspect Landry has read cover to cover. Or maybe he wrote it himself.

Whichever it may be, our very favorite hot dame will surely get to the bottom of it.

iTunes Links

Veronica Mars - Series
Veronica Mars - Season 3
"Mars, Bars"