Do you remember Scott Baio? He was Chachi in Joanie Loves Chachi.

Doesn’t ring a bell? How about if I remind you that Joanie Loves Chachi was a spin-off of the 70’s hit TV show, Happy Days, and Chachi was one of the supporting characters.

Still no chimes? No worries. Scott was a child star who had his moments of fame on the small screen and is now living on the residuals and a few acting jobs in L.A. Not a bad life, but fame and fortune does not make a life complete, not even in L.A., and after being on this earth for 45 years Scott Baio has finally figured that out.

"Ok," you say, "Mr. Baio’s getting his act together. How nice for him. Why are you writing about it, Vern?"

Because one of this week’s freebies at the iTunes Store is an episode of Scott’s new reality show, Scott Baio is 45 and Single, and it’s my job to tell you about it, silly.

A better question would have been: Why do I continue to subject myself to these reality shows when I know that all they are is 45 minutes of self indulgence and mindless attempts at humor and life?

Well, I guess I’m the eternal optimist; I hope that someone will eventually make a show that people might actually care about. Guess what? Scott Baio’s show ain’t it. But I will say that he seems sincere, and that may come across as being worthy of watching.

In the free episode Mr. Baio goes in search of a life coach to help him figure out why he sucks at relationships and is still single. That part was actually funny.

Then, at the behest of his hired Nazi in drag (I’m being mean, she may be a nice person off camera), Scott goes to some of his old girlfriends, including Erin "Joanie" Moran, and asks them what was so bad about him that they left. That part wasn’t very funny.

I actually started to feel uncomfortable watching some of the moments in this show. I felt like a voyeur or obsessed fan who tracks celebrities with high powered binoculars. Just because a guy is (or was) famous doesn’t mean that he isn’t entitled to some privacy. Of course, that thought has been negated by the very existence of the show.

Still, I walked away from watching Scott Baio is 45... with a new reason for disliking reality shows; sometimes they can get too real, and some things should be kept private. Maybe that’s why people watch these shows in the first place.

Ah well, if that’s your pleasure then your going to enjoy Scott Baio is 45...

Speaking of TV of the past, there was a time when cigarettes were advertised, even glorified, on TV. Ads had Americans believing that if you smoked, drove certain cars, and dressed a certain way you’d be happy. The people behind the ads of the early sixties are the subject of a new series called Madmen. There’s a behind the scenes look at the making of the series available as a free download at the iTunes Store.

Back then, as it is today, there was a lot of money in advertising, and where there’s money there’s greed, sex, drugs, greed, booze, politics, sex, scandal, and, of course, greed. How it all played out is the subject of the series, which is pretty much the subject of most dramas on TV today, except in this one the women wear horn-rimmed glasses and look like your Aunt Marge (which may or may not be a bad thing, depending on your Aunt Marge). It’s like the dark side of Bewitched. ("Tabatha, I am your father!", "Noooooo!")

Is the show worth a look? I don’t know. There’s no free episode, just the behind-the-scenes thingy, which is interesting and gives glimpses into the show. So download that and see if you think the real show is worth seeing.

OK, what do a monkey, a pirate, and a zombie have in common?

No, it’s not the cast of Pirates of the Caribbean, though I suppose that would be a correct answer too.

Nope, I’m not looking for a description of the people standing behind you when you were at the check-out register in Wal-Mart, though I suppose that could be accurate as well, depending on the time of day you shop at Wal-Mart.

Give up? OK, I’ll tell you. Monkey Pirate Zombie is the name of a podcast that’s available on the iTunes Store. Describing the podcast is a bit more difficult, however, because it’s about nothing.

My 3 year old niece could produce better animation. The stories, if you can find any, are millimeters deep, and the voice work is crudely done.

Yet, I can’t stop watching. It’s like watching a train wreck narrated by a sloshed Nick Frost (of Shaun of the Dead fame).

Since it’s about nothing I can’t really tell you what it is about, except to say that it’s, um, about nothing. Watching it is a total waste of time and you won’t feel good after viewing. Well, you might feel good that you didn’t make this podcast. Watch at your own risk.

OK, that’s a wrap for this week. Be sure to check out Colbie Caillat’s free single, Bubbly, available this week at the iTunes Store. It’s a nice little feel-good ditty that’s simple, but infectious. It’s a hot girl with a guitar and the song is free. How can you go wrong?

Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.