We begin this week’s episode with a colossal mistake. Said colossal mistake is executed by Spinner, the king of colossal mistakes. Seriously, it’s on his business card. And what’s the colossal mistake? Telling good girl Darcy that she’s a good girl as the two of them sit chatting in his car after class. But not only does he call her a "good girl," he says she’s a saint. "I can be bad sometimes too," Darcy insists. The look on Spinner’s face stops short of sing-songing "Little goody two shoes! Little goody two shoes!" He clearly hasn’t watched enough 90210 to know that the first step to turning your puritan girlfriend into a wild pig is to tell her she’s Mother Theresa.

And what better way to wild it up than by going home and obsessively checking your e-mail and weblog in an attempt to gauge your popularity? I know that’s what I do. Even her little sister thinks that’s dumb. But as Darcy’s eye travels to a shot of her showing more thigh than usual in a picture on her site, two things become clear: the skanking is about to commence, and at some point her little sister will become a focal point on the show. Long live Degrassi!

The next day Darcy, Manny, and the other girl that tags around with them during cheerleader stuff are arguing about new uniforms. Manny wants crop tops, Darcy says no. Manny wants shorty shorts, Darcy says no. Then she says she has a foolproof plan to get them to regionals: "Boys." "Not that I have anything against that answer generally, but - pardon?" Manny asks. Darcy says they offer more options for lifts and throws, and damned if she’s going to discuss it with Manny - she’s the captain after all. As she walks away, Manny says, "Is it possible that I’m actually missing Paige Michaelchuck?" Yes, because I miss her too! C’mon, what’s happening with the college crowd?

And now, the best scene of the show. Peter walks into school and sees Emma walking down the hallway. The exchange:

Peter: "Good morning, Emma."
Emma: "Nothing about you is good and don’t talk to me."

Zing! I want Emma to be my new best friend.

Secondary storyline: JT wants Liberty to guess how many pieces of gum he has in his mouth. I say not enough, because he can still talk. Ha! I kid - I love JT. She calls him immature, Toby announces the old kid’s show that JT worked on is looking for a host again, which gets him giddy - he’s going to go audition for his old job at lunch. As an aside, Darcy’s announcement of Dubya being a cheerleader leaves me baffled. This is a Canadian show - do they really give a patoot about Dubya? Was Brian Mulroney a cheerleader? How about Chretien? Actually, I’d pay good money to see that.

Anyway, Third Cheer Girl razzes Darcy about her announcement and not liking short shorts, while Peter gets all creepy on her and tells her how much he loves her site. Enter Snake, who announces, "It’s hard drive maintenance day. Can you stand the excitement? I can’t." And with that one line, he keeps his SAG card! Or maybe not. Does SAG extend to Canada? I forget.

Secondary storyline: Mia approaches JT in the hallway and tells him her daughter idolizes him after Toby accuses him and Liberty of being obsessed with one another. In other news, grass is green.

In the gym, guys are desperately attempting to do cheerleader stuff. And then Peter comes in and does a handstand, which makes Darcy think she’s on to something. Of course, she uses him to demonstrate a lift, which he does okay at. Afterward Peter approaches her. "Do you really want to be a cheerleader?" she asks. It’s then that Peter once again admits he’s not above board - if he gets on the squad, he has a way to get out of house arrest. "I’ve read every boring blog of every boring kid in this school," he says. "Including my boring blog?" Darcy asks. Naturally he says no, she’s cool, and offers to link her up to his blog so that she gets more visitors. Yeah, gut instinct tells me you don’t want Peter’s friend visiting your blog. I know I don’t.

Secondary storyline: JT auditions and gets his job back. Hooray!

Meanwhile, Darcy and Spinner have a non-conversation in the car about how she wants something more out of life. Translation: she wants to crawl across the hood of a car in a rock video. As she walks in the door, her sister snarks, "Is your bra still done up?" "It’s right where it should be," Darcy snaps, and checks her e-mail. She’s overloaded. One guy calls her beautiful and wants to see more, so she scans a pic of herself in a bikini and sends it to him. Commence phase one of skankification!

The next day at school Darcy is all gooey over Spinner, but immediately runs to check her weblog. "Looks like I made you pretty popular," Peter observes. She starts asking about the guy who said she was beautiful, and Peter tells her it’s a friend of his from private school who happens to be loaded. Enter another Snake cameo: "Pop quiz on motherboards. Let’s face it - who doesn’t love a good motherboard?" Right now, Snake is the leader for this week’s best quote of the show.

Back to the gym, the guys still suck at lifting. Of course, Peter rocks it.

Secondary: JT uses Mia to make Liberty jealous and invites Mia and her daughter to the premiere of his show. Yeah, that’s got good plan written all over it.

With cheerleading practice over, Manny, Peter and Darcy get into this argument over whether or not Darcy is god like. This somehow transitions into an impromptu photo shoot with the three of them, but mostly Manny and Darcy playing faux lesbians. It’s a montage! I wish there were 80s music playing, like "Obsession" by Animotion. Of course, Darcy puts the pictures online and password protects them - which never really works, so disaster is clearly imminent - and runs outside to meet Spinner with a passionate kiss followed by, "I’ve got a lot of e-mails at home." Listen and learn, kids - the Internet is addictive!

Dos: JT chokes when Mia asks him out.

As Darcy and Manny chat on the school steps, Peter joins them and announces that private school guy sent him 200 bones for those shots of Darcy. Manny frowns. "An online admirer paying for photos - that’s not creepy at all," she says. Has she been taking lucid pills? Are we in bizarre-o land? Since when is Manny the voice of reason!?!

Deux: Liberty tries to talk to JT until Mia comes up to ask why he choked on the date thing, but he makes it up by asking to take her and her daughter for ice cream. Here comes the love triangle!

You can imagine everyone’s surprise when Darcy shows up to practice with a box full of short shorts, claiming she sold chocolate bars door to door in order to afford them. "By going door to door do you mean posting sexy photos on the Web for cash?" Manny demands. Darcy tries to blow it off and Peter backs her up, but Manny isn’t sure this is the most brilliant idea. Darcy tells her to drop it - after all, it got them new uniforms. "Think of what else we could get," Peter adds. "I say we do another photo shoot today - papa needs a new pair of shoes." Get your rich, connected daddy to buy them for you then, pervo. Manny tells them it’s over and stomps off, but as the credits roll, the look on Peter and Darcy’s face says "Not so fast." Am I the only one who thinks Peter has some mommy issues to work through?

And as promised, this week’s Quote of the Episode goes to Snake for both of his random yammers about computers. Pointless and entertaining, yet somehow poignant. Bravo!

iTunes Links

Degrassi: The Next Generation - Series
Degrassi: The Next Generation - Season 6
"Eyes Without a Face, pt. 1"

Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.