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Ninjas, Dancing Dirty, and Ghost Gobbling
Thursday, May 10th, 2007 at 4:00 PM - by Vern Seward
You know what? Ive been doing this all wrong.
For weeks now Ive been telling you all about the free videos that appear weekly on the iTunes Store. That was OK and all, but the freebies Ive been looking at is hardly all there is. Its like looking at the tip of an iceberg and saying, "gee, its kinda small, aint it?"
From time to time Ive dipped into the video podcast area to clue you in on some interesting stuff, but Ive been doing the video podcast area a great, and you, intrepid reader, disservice because, really, that is where the free meat is.
Ive already told you about the National Park, and National Geographic short vids, but thats only a tiny peek of the treasures hidden away in the video Postcast area of the iTunes Store. So, from now on I will include at least one look at a video podcast jewel, and there are some real gems in there too.
For instance: Is there a great question burning a hole in your grey matter? You know, some query for which the rejoinder must be so profound that your very perception of the world as you know it would be forever altered. Life and all its mysteries would miraculously be revealed as a single unifying thought once you receive your answer.
But who could you pose such a question to? Who would possess the depth and breath of knowledge and the ability to articulate a response in an easily understood yet meaningful way?
Who, in other words, could you ask?
Why, Ask A Ninja, of course!
Yes, its amateurish. For sure the ninja in Ask A Ninja is just some guy dressed up in a black ski mask. Heck, the guy aint even Japanese! But watching Ask A Ninja is kind of like eating a triple decker bacon, mushroom, and swiss burger and a side order of cheese fries (mmmmm! Cheese fries!) immediately after your doctor has warned you away from such fair; you know it bad for you, but you do it anyway.
Thankfully, each episode is only about 3 minutes long; any longer and you might be prompted to bash your iPod on some pointy rocks. So go ahead, try an episode. I triple-dog-dare ya!
Speaking of daring, how daring would you have to be to dress up in drag with Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo and parade around for a hour and a half on the big screen, especially if you are a Hollywood action hero/heart-throb/dancer? Id say youd have to be pretty dang daring, and extremely secure in your manliness, but thats just what Patrick Swayze did in the movie To Wong Fo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.
And how do I know this useless tidbit if information? I watched the movie, of course (which may or may not say something about how comfortable I am with my sexuality, but Wesley Snipes was strangely captivating as Noxeema Jackson), but I also heard the movie mentioned during an interview with Patrick Swayze on Quest, a CNN show featuring Richard Quest (shame his parents didnt name him Johnny, but Im sure hes heard that before).
Richard Quest with Patrick Swayze
Who is Richard Quest and why should you care?
Well, Richard gets to go all over the world talking to the famous, the not-so-famous, and the infamous while checking out sites and doing cool stuff. (Man! I wish I had his job!) In one recent episode Richard get chummy with Mr. Swayze and we learn all sorts of interesting things about the guy who got all muddy with Demi Moore in Ghost, and flung Jennifer Grey around in Dirty Dancing. Other episodes has Richard doing the tango, and getting Botox injections.
I dont know why you would care, other than that you might find the show as entertaining as I did. Subscribe to Quest. It doesnt suck.
Finally, Id like to direct your attention to another iTunes Store freebie, a downloadable demo of the venerable quarter-eater of the 80s, the Grand Dame of Mazes; Ms. Pac-Man.
You knew Apple offers games for the Video iPod, right? Its actually a pretty decent, albeit a rather small selection of arcade-type games that seem made for the iPods scroll-wheel. Ms. Pac-Man, for instance, uses the compass coordinates of the scroll-wheel to simulate an arcade joystick. It doesnt take long to get the hang of using the scroll-wheel in this way and soon youre gobbling ghost with the best of them.
Ms. Pac-Man for the iPod is a faithful rendition of the arcade hit too, including all the music and sounds you are familiar with.
And the game just looks gorgeous. Theres something about the purity of the cartoon-like graphics and simple, but challenging game play that keeps this little ladys number on the 5-star list in my little black iPod.
The demo only lets you play one round, but its likely enough to incite that Ms. Pac-Mania that you thought you were so over with. The game is only five bucks, after all, and you know you want it. Go on... (evil laughter fades)
More freebies on the iTunes Store (with direct links):
Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.
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