Veronica Mars Finale (3.19 & 3.20) - "Weevils Wobble" & "The Bitch is Back"
Airdate: May 22nd, 2007

Where do you start with something that’s ended? Two great episodes � classic Veronica Mars � tag-teaming to resemble a season finale�but it’s really a series finale. The whole first hour I kept wondering why she looked so happy when she knew it was almost over.

So let’s break it down. First episode: Weevil has a final hurrah, playing the forever-misunderstood reformed hoodlum. He’s the obvious patsy for the student ID scam, and in hiring Veronica, gives her an excuse to show off her shiny new PI badge. Aww, how cute.

Now, while we all know he didn’t do it, we, just like Veronica, retain a healthy ounce of skepticism. Because just like Weevil himself said, he misses the money and excitement of gang life (and who wouldn’t when the alternative is being a janitor?). Finding the Aspen ski group responsible for the pseudonymous crimes was textbook Veronica. And having the community college-attending cafeteria clerk spot the Fibonacci alias remains true to the class war that started this whole show in the first place.

Aspen ski bunnies vs. reformed Mexican gang leader? Thank you Veronica, for remembering where you came from.

And can I just say, hell yeah, to Weevil for holding on to the third box. I don’t care what he does with it. He could throw it into the ocean and hope it hits Logan on the head during a surf wipeout, or he could figure out how to scam the bejesus out of the ivory tower that wouldn’t pay his workman’s comp. Screw Hearst!

Then, things get dark and fabulous. Dick (of course) shows Logan the Veronica sorta-sex video. Oooh, he’s boiling. Of course he doesn’t think that Piz is innocent because he’s so blinded by his aching, burning love for Veronica that will never, ever die! He storms over to the radio show where poor unsuspecting Piz is happily chattering away, and bam! Logan unleashes his Obligatory Psychotic Jackass all over the place. Piz is mushed up into baby food. Ah, that’s got to hurt.

And then Logan shows up bloody at Veronica’s door (hello season 2 opener). And the sex video drama begins. Only Veronica has the steel balls to withstand the public humiliation that comes with this kind of exposure. Yes, I know, she’s had plenty of experience with it in high school, but isn’t college where you don’t have to deal with this crap anymore? The Bitch Is Back, indeed�her eyes are burning, she dishes brilliant revenge left and right. She asks Wallace for what will be the final favor (so sad). Then she discovers The Castle.

The Castle is what should have been the big mystery over the last several eps. That would have been fun, and made more sense than to jam it in to the end. But then we would have had Veronica all piss and vinegar for the whole segment�wait, that would have been awesome.

OK, so The Castle is a secret society like Skull & Bones. It’s one of those things that hold up the patriarchy and the glass ceiling, and why a certain drawling president become commander in chief. The Castle is like the uber 09er. And so that means Veronica has to either date it, or take it down.

So she dons her cat burglar cap, slides her skinny white butt through the doggie door, and comes face to face with Why-It-All-Began. Lilly. She’s huge! And I started to think maybe she’s alive and the show is about to take a sci-fi turn and next we’ll meet Buffy and Xander and then Angel will come up from the basement. I mean Jake Kane sure looked vampirish, didn’t he? I think I saw spikes on his teeth.

But then things begin to unravel. Veronica is on the security camera (why didn’t she tie up that hair?). Keith tampers with evidence to save his little girl. No! Keith, don’t do it! He’s throwing away the election to keep Veronica from the 09er sharks. I just hope that list of names she hands Nish will actually do some good. I can’t imagine they’ll be admissible evidence in a lawsuit, but hey, I’m no lawyer.

And then V gives the box back to Count Kane, who is now, undoubtedly the most evil man in Neptune. Veronica surely saved a copy of all that blackmail material for the future�oh wait, there is no future. It’s all for nothing Veronica! You’re cancelled.

But just to wrap things up, Logan, playing the Id to Piz’s Ego, beats creepy Gorzky with the wild-eyed abandon we remember from season’s past. And the tiny uptick at the corner of Veronica’s mouth as he does it reminds us that as truly lovely as Piz is, he doesn’t have the rage-athon tendencies that unite Veronica and Logan. See you in some future fanzoid’s porno blog, my friends.

And finally, gumbo.

And then, Veronica again learns what a kick-ass dad she has. Then she votes, even though justice is hopeless in a town like Neptune. And she walks away. Goodbye my friend. Good luck at the FBI.

iTunes Links

Veronica Mars - Series
Veronica Mars - Season 3
This Episode - "Weevils Wobble But They Don’t Go Down"
This Episode - "The Bitch is Back"

Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.